Category Archives: government

God Takes the Wheel

After surviving a recent trip through rush hour traffic, the Pope decided that on today’s highways, maybe prayer isn’t enough, so he climbed the Mount and returned with a new, slightly longer set of Commandments for modern drivers. Remember, these are God’s words. Violate at your own risk.

1. Pick one speed and stick with it. Nothing makes me crazier than the guy in front of me who slows down going up hill, speeds up going downhill and definitely speeds up whenever they’re in a passing zone so I can’t just pass and get away from him. Yes, dammit, I drive a car. Why shouldn’t I?

2. Drivers should drive. Not talk on cell phones, eat lunch, apply makeup, style their hair, read a newspaper or sleep. And definitely not more than one of these at the same time. And you twerps who text and drive? I’ve got a special place in hell for you. Yes. I. Do.

3. Children are not human air bags. In other words, restrain your kids properly in age-appropriate safety seats. Do NOT hold them in your lap. I don’t care if it’s only for a block.

4. People do not make good missiles. In other words, buckle up. I don’t care if it’s only for a block.

5. If you are not disabled, do NOT park in a disabled parking space (I don’t care if you stole someone else’s permit). If you do, you are a lazy, no-good, inconsiderate slob who might find all the air has been let out of your tires while you were in the store for “just a minute.” Or your tires have “disappeared.” Plus I have the power to smite.

6. Yellow means slow down and red really does mean stop, dammit, not giddy up. I mean this.

7. An all-way stop is a stop and wait your turn, NOT a roll and go because you’re more important than everyone else so shouldn’t have to wait. Why do you yahoos think I don’t notice your crap? I do. And I don’t forget it.

8. An all-way stop is a stop and GO when it’s your turn, not a stop and then let’s sit there for ten minutes with me stuck behind you because you’re not sure if maybe you should let everybody else in the world go first and then wait a few minutes more just to see how long I’ll pound my head against the steering wheel. God is NOT supposed to do that, it hurts.

9. If you’re first in the left turn lane and the left turn lane arrow turns green, for crying out loud GO-GO-GO. Do NOT wait until it turns yellow, leaving everyone else still stuck at the light as you go on your merry way. I’m God. I will catch you.

10. If you haven’t used your turn signal, do not turn. Just continue in a straight line until you are far, far away from me.

11. If you want to drive more than ten miles an hour over the speed limit, move to a country with an Autobahn. That’s why I created it, dammit!

12. Blinding everyone else at night with your high beams does NOT make you safer. It does, however, piss me off. Do you really want to piss me off?

13. If you’re driving on the highway and one or more cars are on the shoulder, do not slow down and gawk making everyone behind you for hundreds of miles have to slow down as well, starting a traffic jam that eventually will bring the entire United States interstate highway system to a grinding halt. (I like the United States. I did some of my best work here. What – haven’t you been to Yellowstone?)

14. In parking lots, go a reasonable speed and if you see a parking space for Pete’s sake PARK. Do NOT drive up and down the aisles for thirty minutes looking for a closer space or wait like a vulture for a space to open, engine idling, blocking all traffic while you contribute to global warming. If you do, Al Gore will come looking for you. So will I, but Al scares me.

15. When it starts to rain, do not be afraid; it will not hurt you and you do not need to slow down until you are driving slower than I can walk. Especially if I am stuck behind you.

16. Driving six inches from my back bumper will NOT make me go any faster. Plus I have the power to smite.

17. Four-wheel drive vehicles do NOT stop any faster on ice than the rest of us. For crying out loud, I gave you a brain – start using it!

18. It is never open season on pedestrians. Seriously, I like pedestrians. They are doing all the right things – reducing carbon emissions, loving planet earth, honoring their bodies by getting healthy. Do NOT mess with them.

19. Do not wait until I am less than fifty feet away before pulling out in front of me, making me push my brake pedal to the floor and causing my car to rise up on its front tires and do a little dance. Plus I have the power to smite.

20. If you do not have insurance AND a valid license, do not drive. I’m not kidding.

21. If you’re reading this and wondering what’s wrong with any of the things I listed in the other commandments, do NOT drive. Ever. I mean that. And I will know.

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Stupid is as Stupid Does

Dear FreedomWorks,

I don’t know how you got my email address or whether I just pissed off someone with a really nasty temper who then fraudulently subscribed me on some far-right-wing-nut web page so that I would forever have my in-box filled with solicitations for donations from “true patriots” who want to help “take back our country” and give “grassroots freedom-fighters the tools they need to fight Big Government and protect America’s liberty.”

I do have to ask – by “grass-roots” do you mean the billionaire Koch-financed effort to convert the government into a subsidiary of Koch Industries?

Just wondered.

And did you know that when you say “FreedomWorks” aloud it sounds like “Fweedumwoks” ? Go ahead, try it. It really does. (Which, of course, means Elmer Fudd is actually a furry “true patriot” living on Endor. Think about that.)

Anyway, you emailed me a survey. It didn’t ask any sensible questions so I didn’t respond which is why you decided to send it to me again because you desperately need to know what the most important issues are to me!

Far be it from me to disappoint you.

You asked me to “rank these issues in order of importance (1-5).” Those issues were as follows:

  • Stop libtard bureaucrats from ruining our schools and dumbing down America’s kids with things like science and reasoning skills.
  • No gun control because the civil liberties protected in our Bill of Rights must be protected at all costs. If it’s the 2nd Amendment. The rest can be compromised to protect us from Kenyan Muslim Usurpers.
  • Stop government spending we don’t need it look at Somalia no government so no government spending and they’re doing okay all they need are enough guns and thanks to the 2nd Amendment we got those.
  • Defund ObamaCare: Congress must ensure not one more penny goes to funding that fearsome Godzilla of socialized medicine by spending millions of tax dollars on ineffective votes to repeal the Affordable Care Act.
  • Defending the House: We the Tin-Foil Hat People must defend the House and prevent another round of Speaker Nancy Pelosi because she’s like a damn comet that keeps circling back and we much prefer Ted Nugent even if he runs in circles like a rabid three-legged dog biting his own tail.

I’m not being critical but for some reason these “issues” somehow – how do I say this with delicacy, hmmmm – seem completely insane and don’t reflect any issue of any importance to any rational human being.

However.

Because you desperately need to know what the most important issues are to me, here they are:

1. Climate change. Won’t we all share a hearty laugh when it turns out to be real and we no longer have a place to live?

2. Money in politics. Seriously – fix that and we can fix #1.

3. Emails from billionaire-funded lunatic fringe groups like FreedomWorks. On second thought, #2 will take care of that.

4. Billionaire-funded lunatic fringe groups like FreedomWorks. Oh, wait. Never mind.

5. Billionaires David and Charles Koch. Oh, wait.

6. Wall Street. Corporate Welfare. Income inequality.

Oops.

Damn.

#2 should be #1, shouldn’t it?

I’m sure you and your billionaire backers agree, right?

My World and Welcome to it.

Republican Senator Ron Johnson may be the stupidest member of Congress (a difficult goal to achieve but he may, indeed, be the stupidest one of all time despite what you’ve read about Ted Cruz, Michele Bachmann, Todd Akin, and others).

Why am I painfully aware of this? Because he’s from Wisconsin, the state with which I also (as you may have guessed) have some small acquaintance.

In fact, he’s so stupid he even has his own website: ourdumbsenator.com, which induces sufficient astonished face palms to cause whiplash.

His latest display of Tea Party genius: using federal tax dollars to sue the federal government to make his office staff pay more for their health insurance. Then giving them raises (funded with federal tax dollars) to pay for the higher cost of coverage if his lawsuit is successful.

Because it’s all about protecting the taxpayer.

Dear Texas,

Even though you like yellow roses, you are (and seem determined to remain) a red state. You know who you are and that’s a bible-thumping, state-flag-waving, big-government hating, free-market-loving, regulation-slashing, secession-minded group of Republican cowboys.

I’m cool with that.

You believe in the second amendment but not the first, think prayers and guns should be let into schools but critical thinking skills kept out, and that businesses don’t need to be regulated because as conscientious citizens they will self-regulate.

Your elected officials believe victims of Hurricane Sandy should fend for themselves because that’s what states’ rights, local control, and personal responsibility are all about. Because real liberty means we all must live with the consequences of our choices and if you choose to live in a godless place like New York or New Jersey, when you get devastated by a hurricane of biblical proportions, that’s just the result of your choice (and possibly ordained by God who hates liberals and anybody who isn’t Texan but most especially the heretics who live in places that let gay people marry) and you should pull up your bootstraps and not expect a handout from honest, hard-working people who don’t believe in handouts.

Unless the victims are god-fearing Texans.

Which happened recently when one of those self-regulated businesses blew up, taking a large part of a small Texas town and its residents with it.

After which two Republicans who voted against federal aid for victims of Hurricane Sandy asked for federal aid for the victims in West, Texas.

A request also made by “Lone Star” state Governor Rick Perry who announced that Texas believes in independence in everything but receiving federal tax dollars.

“But we as a nation can’t turn our backs on such terrible suffering” you might say and you are probably right, even if part of the suffering might be because that same governor made so many “business friendly” decisions and, among other choices, reduced oversight and slashed funding to volunteer fire departments  – while giving hefty tax cuts to private corporations.

And that West Fertilizer Company (which owns the plant that exploded) is a private corporation.

Which had been storing 1,350 times the amount of explosive ammonium nitrate that would normally trigger safety oversight by the U.S. Department of Homeland Security (DHS). But which did not report the potentially explosive fertilizer as it was required to do.

Perhaps because it had a “risk management plan” that said “the company did not believe it was storing or handling any flammable substances and didn’t list fire or an explosion as a danger.”

The same plan that listed the “worst-case scenario” as an “accidental release of [gaseous] anhydrous ammonia.”

The same plan that said “there was no risk of fire or explosion.”

The same plan that “did not cite a possible explosion of ammonium nitrate.”

In a plant that had “no sprinklers. No firewalls. No water deluge systems” or any other safety mechanisms installed.

In a plant that hadn’t been inspected by the Occupational Health and Safety Administration since 1985.

The plant that was storing 270 tons of highly volatile ammonium nitrate fertilizer that should have been reported to the Department of Homeland Security but was not.

So that the volunteer firefighters had no idea they were fighting a fire that could – and did – turn into a massive fireball capable of flattening buildings for blocks in every direction. While they were at the epicenter of that explosion instead of a safe distance away.

Which is why, Texas, I have to ask: shouldn’t this be something your fabled “free market” will resolve to everyone’s satisfaction? With the self-regulating company liable for all the damages and loss of life?

Because, in keeping with your dearly beloved GOP principles, when a private company blows up a town, shouldn’t the private company pay for it? And be held personally – maybe even criminally – responsible?

Isn’t that what a big-government hating, free-market-loving, regulation-slashing, secession-minded group of Republican cowboys would really want?

Thank you and I look forward to your prompt response.

Poor people using food stamps don’t look poor enough; Republicans propose new rules to address concerns

Continuing his party’s laser-like focus on jobs, (Republican) Wisconsin State Senator Glenn Grothman has decided it’s time to reform the federally-funded Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP), formerly known as the Food Stamp program (called “FoodShare” in Wisconsin).

As he announced in his recently released public statement, “Time to Reform Food Stamps,” the primary reason behind reform is that the people receiving assistance just don’t look poor enough to be getting help.

“Observations of people who work in food stores indicate that many people who use food stamps do not act as if they are genuinely poor. Routinely top brand names are purchased instead of generics. Some people claiming to be ‘poor’ might even buy cigarettes – or worse – a beer.

One not-poor person even told me that her cousin’s next-door neighbor’s best friend’s husband can tell who is on food stamps and who is not by what’s in their shopping cart: the ‘poor’ people always buy steak and lobster.

I’ve interviewed people who check out people who pay with food stamps and all felt people on food stamps ate better – or at least more costly – than they did. Food stamp recipients must be getting unreported income, or living with someone with income who social services is unaware of, because it’s apparent that something is wrong. Obviously the average monthly benefit of 116.50 for one person – $26.88 a week! – is far in excess of the amount of assistance actually needed.

And then there’s the issue of appearance. These so-called ‘poor’ people redeem their food stamps with hair that’s been washed and combed and while wearing clothing like you or me instead of rags. While I’m not an anti-poor person fanatic, I’ve always felt that if you can spend money on shampoo and new underwear, you’re not poor.

Another big consideration is weight. Lots of people claiming to be ‘poor’ are fat. Just look at them! In America, unlike other countries, the poor are heavier than the population at large. Poor children are twice as likely to be obese as children who are not poor. Obviously if someone is overweight they get enough to eat – why would they need our financial help to buy more food?

The legislature is always under pressure to increase subsidies for dental care for the poor. It would be doing them a favor to reduce help in that area as well. If they have no teeth, they can’t chew. If they can’t chew, they’ll eat less and thus be able to lose some of those extra pounds – so we could cut back on food stamps and dental care, saving precious tax dollars paid by hardworking taxpayers who aren’t sitting around on their keisters all day feeding at the public trough.

Finally, any program conditioned on lack of income has a certain amount of moral hazard connected with it. Insofar as anything goes in these programs it discourages work. It also encourages cheating to get into the program. We all know that a lack of morals is the cause of a lack of money.

As structured, these programs encourage bad dietary choices, encourage sloth, and insult the hard working because we all know the poor don’t work hard. It’s time for a change.

The easiest way to help poor people to higher income levels is to encourage them to look for better-paying jobs by cutting off their assistance. They’ll be better off in the long run.

Please let me know what you think on this issue. Contact me here in Madison 1-888-534-0058, or in any of the following ways:

Madison Address: P.O. Box 8952, Madison, WI 53708-8952
Home Number: 262-338-8061
E-Mail: rep.grothman@legis.state.wi.us”

Madison WI: Somewhere Deep Under the Capitol

Top Secret Strategy Meeting at Scott Walker HQ:

White Guy #1: Listen guys, I’ve called this meeting today because we have a crisis.

White Guy #2: So what else is new?

White Guy #1: Not funny, #2. Listen, last time we convinced the fools – with the help of Koch money – that “it’s working.” Wisconsin was “open for business” and we were “moving in the right direction.” Those “unions” were to blame for a massive deficit – that didn’t really exist – with their outrageous salaries and benefits. And then we told them how we saved “a billion dollars” by ending collective bargaining. But that crap only goes so far. Now we have another budget that screws the little guy while rewarding the wealthy. We have to sell them on it. But how?

White Guy #3: I think we’re in deep do-do here. I, mean, how stupid can they be?

White Guy #2: I think you’re overestimating their intelligence.

White Guy #1: No way – we were pushing the envelope last time.

White Guy #2: Wrong. Do you seriously think anyone who had even an ounce of intelligence would believe a word of what we say at this point? I mean, we kept telling people Walker was focused “like a laser” on jobs as we pushed through an extremist agenda that didn’t have anything to do with the subject! It was masterful! $2.3 billion in tax breaks to special interests. Repeal the equal pay law, repeal consumer protections, repeal tenant rights, roll back reproductive rights, roll back environmental protections, push through tort “reform” that protected businesses and victimized patients! At the same time, we plunged toward the bottom in job creation and economic outlook! Conservatives around the country were in awe! I mean – Scotty told one whopper after another and anytime he got fact-checked, all we had to do was blame it on the liberal media. Look at his record on politifact! I tell you these sheeple are so dumb we could blame poor people for global warming and the masses will not only believe it – they’ll be buying pitchforks and torches.

White Guy #3: No way. Scotty is restricting unemployment benefits, food stamps, health insurance for the needy – that has no fiscal impact on the budget.

White Guy #2: Way.

White Guy #1. Wait a minute … I think #3 might be on to something. Let’s see. The budget is designed to … hmmm —

White Guy #2: Entitlements!

White Guy #1: What?

White Guy #2: Call them entitlements.

White Guy #3: But that’s not accurate!

White Guy #2: Who cares about being accurate?

White Guy #1: Yes, yes, I’m beginning to understand – entitlements and … dependency!

White Guy #2: Now you got it! And use the word “reforms” – sheeple just eat that up.

White Guy #1: Balancing our budget through entitlement reforms! We’re not depriving the needy to give more to the greedy – we’re giving the poor a hand up, not a hand out! Moving them from dependency to independence.

White Guy #3: What? Are you guys nuts? This has nothing to do with the budget! And doesn’t save taxpayers any money! The real problem is Scotty’s corporate welfare! He’s throwing money at special interests and slashing funding for everything else!

White Guy #2 (to Guy #3): Do you like working here?

White Guy #1: It’s brilliant! Blame those non-existent slackers sucking up our tax dollars! We can use random meaningless words like “Freedom”, “Prosperity” and “Independence.” Or better yet: “More Prosperity,” “Better Performance,” and “True Independence.” And PowerPoint! We can dazzle the masses with PowerPoint! You know – lots of charts and bullet points, but no real information, the mindless masses just LOVE that crap. And we can pay for all of the propaganda with tax dollars!

White Guy #2: I beat you to it. Already have it prepared for release. We’ll start with USA Today. I call it “Government dependence not American Dream.”

How many of us grew up with the dream of someday being dependent on the government?

I certainly did not. The idea just seems foreign to the American Dream.

Sadly, there are some in our nation’s capital who measure success in government by how many are dependent on the government. The massive expansion of Medicaid, waivers of work programs for food stamps and the extension of unemployment benefits may all be well-intentioned, but is more government dependence really such a good thing?”

Guy #3: Wait a minute, none of that is true!

Guy #1: Shut up. Go on, #2.

There is dignity in working hard to provide for a future of your own choosing. In turn, it leads to more freedom and more prosperity for all.

Last Wednesday, I introduced a state budget focused on helping people transition from government dependency to true independence.

Our plans forgo the temptation of the temporary financial incentives from Washington to expand Medicaid. Instead, we crafted a plan reducing the number of uninsured in our state by 224,580.

For the rest, we transition them into the private and exchange markets, where the lowest premium starts at $19 per month.”

White Guy #3: That’s not true either!

White Guy #1: I’m not saying this again, #3. Shut up.

White Guy #2 (continuing): “Our budget plans provide employment training for able-bodied childless adults receiving food stamps.

Going forward, more than 75,000 people in our state will be enrolled in job training in order to obtain food stamps.

In addition, we are looking to double the weekly requirement for jobs searches for those on unemployment from two times a week to four or more.”

White Guy #3: But how are people working full-time going to be able to take job training? And how will people in job training be able to look for work at least four times a week? This makes no sense!

White Guy #2 (ignoring the interruption): “It is important to give temporary hand up to those in need, but for those who are able, we should not provide a permanent hand out. Our goal is simple: transition people from government dependence to true independence.

It’s why we celebrate the 4th of July and not April 15th. In our country, we celebrate true independence because more freedom and more prosperity are what drive the American Dream.”

White Guy #3: But it’s all just a load of bull!

White Guy #2: So what’s your point?

Another Top 10 List

As we head into the election season for, among other things, Supreme Court Justice, a refresher about the job might be helpful.

Top 10 Reasons to be a Supreme Court Justice:

10.You can honestly say you’re one of the Supremes.

9.  Wherever you go you can chant, “Here Comes da Judge!”

8.  Black never goes out of style.

7.  You’re always ready for funerals.

6.  “One size fits all” robes never pinch your waist.

5.  Gavels make great nutcrackers.

4.  You can finally get even with all those people who wouldn’t let you cheat off
their exams in law school.

3.  If you don’t snore, you can sleep with your eyes open and no one will know.

2.  People think you’re smart when you shout out cool Latin phrases like “Carpe
Vitro Veritas.”

1.  Nobody knows when you’re naked under your robe.

Top 10 Reasons NOT to be a Supreme Court Justice in Wisconsin

10. Not allowed to make lawyers walk on hot coals for personal enjoyment.

9.  The other justices make weird faces when you chant, “Here Comes da
Judge!”

8.  Annette Zeigler insists on being called “Supreme Ruler of Planet Barbie.”

7.  David Prosser doesn’t think it’s funny when you flush all his copies of “Mein Kampf” down the toilet.

6.  They won’t let you keep a llama in your office.

5.  Real judicial decorum means you can’t call the Chief Justice a “bitch.” (Even if you can choke people if you want to.)

4. Because, when campaigning for re-election to what on paper is a non-partisan office, even though you are “neutral and independent“, people accuse you of being a party hack just because you attend Republican events, choose the former executive director of the Wisconsin Republican Party as your campaign advisor,  choose as his assistant the former deputy director of the Wisconsin Republican party and most recently Wisconsin political director for the Republican National Committee, have as your bookkeeper the same person who is also Republican Gov. Scott Walker’s campaign treasurer and your campaign donor list is a who’s who of Republican leaders, including Republican Gov. Scott Walker’s campaign chair, who, only by coincidence, was general counsel for the Republican National Committee from 1996 until 2000, was the Republican National Committeeman for Wisconsin during 1984–2002, and was a delegate to Republican National Conventions from 1984 to 2000.

3.  Scott Walker won’t shut up about his trip to Cali.

2.  Even though you deserve it, nobody ever plays the Darth Vader theme music when you enter the room

1.  Prosser is naked under his robe.

Survivor: Northwoods

At a meeting of the invitation-only Libertarian Billionaires Club in an exclusive Palm Springs resort, Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker (R) today announced his plan to transform his state’s education system with an innovative initiative, which he claims will give parents and students legitimate alternatives to under-performing, under-funded schools.

In a move Republicans heralded as “bold” and “visionary,” Walker will “level the playing field” when it comes to school funding: Wisconsin students will now battle to the death for state aid.

“When I watched The Hunger Games last week with Tonette and the boys (love that new HD big screen – thanks Diane), I realized how much fun it was to see kids so focused on healthy competition, and how it fit perfectly with my proclamation of 2013 as the Year of Well-Being.

In fact, at first I thought it was a new reality show but then Tonette slapped me on my bald spot and said no you idjit it’s a movie, and, as I rubbed my head, I realized this was really an exciting opportunity for more of my common sense reforms.

So I called a meeting of my Education Policy Advisors at the mansion and, after some hot ham and rolls, we watched the movie together so he would understand my vision. The resulting budget outlines the key provisions which allow students, parents, and schools greater funding parity among all education sectors.

Every child, regardless of their zip code, deserves access to a great education. While it is our goal to help struggling schools succeed, we need to make sure students and parents can choose the best option and make sure each child receives the opportunity for a truly great education even if they come from a poor school district.

To help them help themselves, effective with the new budget:

On an annual basis, each school district will select, by lottery, 2 students (from grades K-12) as tributes who will travel to the MacKenzie Center, which is being reformed into a hunting, fishing, and trapping training facility.

After two weeks of training with a private-sector mentor, they will be released into a fenced private hunting preserve where they will begin their struggle for survival. The entire event will be available for a fee on pay-per-view, with rights sold at my complete discretion for any price – or none, as I see fit.

Viewers will have unique opportunities to participate by donating on-line to my campaign. Sponsors (who did not sign a recall petition) can, for an additional fee, send gifts such as food, medicine, and tools to the young Republican players of my choice. Other donors can choose options designed to enhance the competition, such as ‘release the hounds.’

The sole survivor earns full funding for his or her district for the coming school year.

Because we believe in a hand up, not a hand-out, the hard work of the fallen will not be ignored, preserving an essential safety net for our neediest, while protecting our state’s taxpayers from uncertainty. Their home districts will receive the amount of state aid allocated to the district of each of their victims. So the more you kill, the more you earn. If, on the other hand, you’re a lazy sloucher, our plan will help break cycles of generational dependence and motivate you to work harder to stay alive.

I know those liberal lefties in Dane County will scoff and claim this is unfair, that students from the rich, Republican districts will have an undue advantage, but I say look at the real-life example set by Katniss Everdeen, a poor, white girl from a rural district who won the contest with hard work and the right attitude. With the right attitude, your child can too.”

Dear America, Please Don’t Fall for This Shit Again

By Adam McKay. Reprinted here because this is important.  Original at http://www.huffingtonpost.com/adam-mckay/romney-obama-election-2012_b_2080326.html

This election season there’s a billowing cloud of misinformation being sprayed into the American psyche like a burping tail pipe on a primered Vega.

And its smoke is thicker and blacker than ever before thanks to the Citizen’s United Supreme Court decision.

Billions have been spent for one purpose and one purpose only: to obscure and distract from the fact that Mitt Romney is backing the identical agenda George W Bush did.

It’s really and truly that simple.

Lower taxes for the rich, cutting regulations for Wall Street, hawkish foreign policy with in many cases the same neocon foreign policy advisers W. Bush used make Romney/Ryan “W Bush 2: The Sequel to the Greatest Disaster Movie in Recent U.S. History, Available in Imax.”

So please, America, don’t fall for this con all over again. Taxes for the rich are at record lows. The uber-wealthy and corps hide profits overseas and work the loopholes to avoid paying what they should. And because of the resulting tax shortfall, deficits soar and education and infrastructure are cut. Why in God’s name would anyone in their right mind support cutting taxes for the wealthy more? Especially when it’s been proven over and over again to do very little for the economy?

And the idea of cutting regulations for Wall Street after the ’08 collapse is as crazy as a guy in a hospital gown by the side of a highway waving Barbie dolls at passing cars. With the derivitives market larger than ever we need way more regulation of Wall Street, not less. And worst of all, Romney’s hawkish foreign policy is a beat for beat redux of the Bush doctrine of attack at the slightest hint of threat that led us into the disaster of the Iraq war. Call it “the edgy drifter with a knife” policy.

Voting for Romney after the train wreck of that was the eight years of W. Bush is like losing your pay check playing a rigged game of three-card monte and then playing the same game again a week later cause the cards are a different color.

But Obama is a socialist! He’s made things worse! What about the deficit?! Stop your witchy liberal word spells!

These objections to Obama are nonsense and lies at best. They just are. This isn’t a “liberal” POV. It’s just the truth. Obama does have real failings as a president (illegal drone strikes, a baffling desire to make more trade deals, failure to prosecute past war crimes), but being a socialist big spender is not remotely one of them. The stock market and corporate profits have soared under the Obama administration. And the deficit is 60 percent from tax short falls from the ’08 collapse and 20 percent from the Iraq war finally being properly counted. Only $1 trillion of the $5 trillion deficit is from spending that was for the stimulus package that stopped our nation from falling into a depression by any economic metric available. The fact is Obama has spent less than any president in 50 years.

Even Obamacare is a private mandate that will drive billions to the insurance industry, much like the auto insurance mandate. Hardly socialism. In fact, it was a Republican plan to begin with.

But Romney and his billionaire backers have twisted facts and outright lied like we’ve never seen before. And why? Because if they had to stand on the issues they wouldn’t receive a vote. Because Romney and Ryan are exactly on the same page as W. Bush. And that page is stained with champagne and sturgeon eggs.

If Romney wins it will be because voters voted for the lies and the brand ID of the Republican party, not because of facts, context and reality. This is the essence of how a con works. The con man gets the mark to respond emotionally rather than logically. Please, don’t fall for it. With climate change becoming the biggest challenge of the next hundred years we can’t afford four years more of corruption, misinformation and inaction. We just can’t.

We must give up on this blind brand allegiance nonsense — “the Republican party is for self-reliance and America” — and start looking at the reality of what they do. They ignored warnings on 9/11, making us far less safe, give billions in subsidies to oil companies, no-bid contracts to the former vice president’s company, cut taxes for the rich during a war, stand against equal pay for women, froze the budget to drive our AAA rating down. They are corrupt, for the rich getting richer and for dismantling our government including FEMA, Medicare, and Social Security.

And worst of all, the Republicans do everything they can to make it hard for people to vote. This isn’t just creepy and dirty. This is anti-American and an insult to all those that have given their lives for our right to vote.

At a certain point if you’re voting for Romney you have to look around the room and see who you’re with. W, Bush and Cheney will vote for Romney. Sarah Palin will vote for Romney. Glenn Beck will vote for Romney, as will Rush Limbaugh. Rupert Murdoch, Hannity and Donald Trump are voting for Romney. Have these people been right about anything in the past 20 years? For real. Think about it.

This election needs to be the end of the con. The end of “trickle-down economics.” The end of the loopholes. The end of no rules for the rich and powerful. The end of veiled racism, sexism and homophobia as a way to distract those you’re ripping off.

This era of “relative truth” can end. We can return to science, facts and fairness. But it means stopping this right vs. left, Dem. vs. Repub., North vs. South idiocy. A lot of money was spent to divide us like this and every day that we don’t stop and question the messaging this country slips a notch.

We’ve been having the same argument for 30 years and the evidence is clear: Cutting taxes for the rich, deregulating all the rules set up after the Great Depression and needless wars don’t even remotely work, whether it’s George W. Bush or Romney who’s at the wheel of the belching sputtering Vega.

Seriously, America. Take a beat, think and look hard at the numbers. You’re better than this crap. And we’ve got real stuff to work on together.

The time has come.

Willard Mitt Romney,

I don’t care how.

Willard Mitt Romney,

will you please GO NOW!

You can take a jet.

You can take a yacht.

(Toys only the 1 per centers have got.)

You could buy a limousine,

or any fancy new machine.

Willard Mitt Romney!

Don’t you know

the time has come to go, Go, GO!

Get on your way!

Please, Willard Mitt!

The Cayman Islands

would be a good fit.

Join the money and jobs you’ve sent abroad,

your claims to the contrary are a fraud.

The faux-relief drive?  Jeep jobs to China?

Just go there – and get out of my vagina!

Willard Mitt Romney,

I don’t care how.

Willard Mitt Romney,

will you please GO NOW!