Category Archives: Citizens United

Stupid is as Stupid Does

Dear FreedomWorks,

I don’t know how you got my email address or whether I just pissed off someone with a really nasty temper who then fraudulently subscribed me on some far-right-wing-nut web page so that I would forever have my in-box filled with solicitations for donations from “true patriots” who want to help “take back our country” and give “grassroots freedom-fighters the tools they need to fight Big Government and protect America’s liberty.”

I do have to ask – by “grass-roots” do you mean the billionaire Koch-financed effort to convert the government into a subsidiary of Koch Industries?

Just wondered.

And did you know that when you say “FreedomWorks” aloud it sounds like “Fweedumwoks” ? Go ahead, try it. It really does. (Which, of course, means Elmer Fudd is actually a furry “true patriot” living on Endor. Think about that.)

Anyway, you emailed me a survey. It didn’t ask any sensible questions so I didn’t respond which is why you decided to send it to me again because you desperately need to know what the most important issues are to me!

Far be it from me to disappoint you.

You asked me to “rank these issues in order of importance (1-5).” Those issues were as follows:

  • Stop libtard bureaucrats from ruining our schools and dumbing down America’s kids with things like science and reasoning skills.
  • No gun control because the civil liberties protected in our Bill of Rights must be protected at all costs. If it’s the 2nd Amendment. The rest can be compromised to protect us from Kenyan Muslim Usurpers.
  • Stop government spending we don’t need it look at Somalia no government so no government spending and they’re doing okay all they need are enough guns and thanks to the 2nd Amendment we got those.
  • Defund ObamaCare: Congress must ensure not one more penny goes to funding that fearsome Godzilla of socialized medicine by spending millions of tax dollars on ineffective votes to repeal the Affordable Care Act.
  • Defending the House: We the Tin-Foil Hat People must defend the House and prevent another round of Speaker Nancy Pelosi because she’s like a damn comet that keeps circling back and we much prefer Ted Nugent even if he runs in circles like a rabid three-legged dog biting his own tail.

I’m not being critical but for some reason these “issues” somehow – how do I say this with delicacy, hmmmm – seem completely insane and don’t reflect any issue of any importance to any rational human being.


Because you desperately need to know what the most important issues are to me, here they are:

1. Climate change. Won’t we all share a hearty laugh when it turns out to be real and we no longer have a place to live?

2. Money in politics. Seriously – fix that and we can fix #1.

3. Emails from billionaire-funded lunatic fringe groups like FreedomWorks. On second thought, #2 will take care of that.

4. Billionaire-funded lunatic fringe groups like FreedomWorks. Oh, wait. Never mind.

5. Billionaires David and Charles Koch. Oh, wait.

6. Wall Street. Corporate Welfare. Income inequality.



#2 should be #1, shouldn’t it?

I’m sure you and your billionaire backers agree, right?

Dear America, Please Don’t Fall for This Shit Again

By Adam McKay. Reprinted here because this is important.  Original at

This election season there’s a billowing cloud of misinformation being sprayed into the American psyche like a burping tail pipe on a primered Vega.

And its smoke is thicker and blacker than ever before thanks to the Citizen’s United Supreme Court decision.

Billions have been spent for one purpose and one purpose only: to obscure and distract from the fact that Mitt Romney is backing the identical agenda George W Bush did.

It’s really and truly that simple.

Lower taxes for the rich, cutting regulations for Wall Street, hawkish foreign policy with in many cases the same neocon foreign policy advisers W. Bush used make Romney/Ryan “W Bush 2: The Sequel to the Greatest Disaster Movie in Recent U.S. History, Available in Imax.”

So please, America, don’t fall for this con all over again. Taxes for the rich are at record lows. The uber-wealthy and corps hide profits overseas and work the loopholes to avoid paying what they should. And because of the resulting tax shortfall, deficits soar and education and infrastructure are cut. Why in God’s name would anyone in their right mind support cutting taxes for the wealthy more? Especially when it’s been proven over and over again to do very little for the economy?

And the idea of cutting regulations for Wall Street after the ’08 collapse is as crazy as a guy in a hospital gown by the side of a highway waving Barbie dolls at passing cars. With the derivitives market larger than ever we need way more regulation of Wall Street, not less. And worst of all, Romney’s hawkish foreign policy is a beat for beat redux of the Bush doctrine of attack at the slightest hint of threat that led us into the disaster of the Iraq war. Call it “the edgy drifter with a knife” policy.

Voting for Romney after the train wreck of that was the eight years of W. Bush is like losing your pay check playing a rigged game of three-card monte and then playing the same game again a week later cause the cards are a different color.

But Obama is a socialist! He’s made things worse! What about the deficit?! Stop your witchy liberal word spells!

These objections to Obama are nonsense and lies at best. They just are. This isn’t a “liberal” POV. It’s just the truth. Obama does have real failings as a president (illegal drone strikes, a baffling desire to make more trade deals, failure to prosecute past war crimes), but being a socialist big spender is not remotely one of them. The stock market and corporate profits have soared under the Obama administration. And the deficit is 60 percent from tax short falls from the ’08 collapse and 20 percent from the Iraq war finally being properly counted. Only $1 trillion of the $5 trillion deficit is from spending that was for the stimulus package that stopped our nation from falling into a depression by any economic metric available. The fact is Obama has spent less than any president in 50 years.

Even Obamacare is a private mandate that will drive billions to the insurance industry, much like the auto insurance mandate. Hardly socialism. In fact, it was a Republican plan to begin with.

But Romney and his billionaire backers have twisted facts and outright lied like we’ve never seen before. And why? Because if they had to stand on the issues they wouldn’t receive a vote. Because Romney and Ryan are exactly on the same page as W. Bush. And that page is stained with champagne and sturgeon eggs.

If Romney wins it will be because voters voted for the lies and the brand ID of the Republican party, not because of facts, context and reality. This is the essence of how a con works. The con man gets the mark to respond emotionally rather than logically. Please, don’t fall for it. With climate change becoming the biggest challenge of the next hundred years we can’t afford four years more of corruption, misinformation and inaction. We just can’t.

We must give up on this blind brand allegiance nonsense — “the Republican party is for self-reliance and America” — and start looking at the reality of what they do. They ignored warnings on 9/11, making us far less safe, give billions in subsidies to oil companies, no-bid contracts to the former vice president’s company, cut taxes for the rich during a war, stand against equal pay for women, froze the budget to drive our AAA rating down. They are corrupt, for the rich getting richer and for dismantling our government including FEMA, Medicare, and Social Security.

And worst of all, the Republicans do everything they can to make it hard for people to vote. This isn’t just creepy and dirty. This is anti-American and an insult to all those that have given their lives for our right to vote.

At a certain point if you’re voting for Romney you have to look around the room and see who you’re with. W, Bush and Cheney will vote for Romney. Sarah Palin will vote for Romney. Glenn Beck will vote for Romney, as will Rush Limbaugh. Rupert Murdoch, Hannity and Donald Trump are voting for Romney. Have these people been right about anything in the past 20 years? For real. Think about it.

This election needs to be the end of the con. The end of “trickle-down economics.” The end of the loopholes. The end of no rules for the rich and powerful. The end of veiled racism, sexism and homophobia as a way to distract those you’re ripping off.

This era of “relative truth” can end. We can return to science, facts and fairness. But it means stopping this right vs. left, Dem. vs. Repub., North vs. South idiocy. A lot of money was spent to divide us like this and every day that we don’t stop and question the messaging this country slips a notch.

We’ve been having the same argument for 30 years and the evidence is clear: Cutting taxes for the rich, deregulating all the rules set up after the Great Depression and needless wars don’t even remotely work, whether it’s George W. Bush or Romney who’s at the wheel of the belching sputtering Vega.

Seriously, America. Take a beat, think and look hard at the numbers. You’re better than this crap. And we’ve got real stuff to work on together.

Please make it stop.

My phone rang today. I made the mistake of picking it up. Or maybe it wasn’t a mistake because if I don’t, when the answering machine kicks in the caller talks and talks and talks for the next 15 minutes until all the available recording space is full.

That’s right: it’s a robocall. You know, one of those computer-generated recorded calls which you can’t shut up because it’s either a real human being playing a cruel practical joke or a computer programmed by a real human being who likes to play cruel practical jokes.

They fall into two categories: politics (including polls and surveys) and “card member services.”

Only one company is responsible for the latter. No one is sure exactly which one (not even the Department of Homeland Security has been able to figure it out) because the calls never come from a real phone number and the recording never gives the business name, just “Rachel” or “Amanda” from “card member services” with an important message about your card so press one now to learn how to qualify for lower rates or press nine to be placed on our do not call list which we won’t do but everyone at this end will get a good chuckle over it.

The political category includes:

1. The actual candidate (This is [insert name here] calling to ask for your vote blah, blah, blah, blah);

2. Famous supporters of the actual candidate (This is Ted Nugent. I’m calling to tell you to vote for [insert name here] and against his demon spawn, hybrid-driving opponent who wants to take away your guns, tanks, and surface to air missiles leaving you helpless against deer attacks);

3. PAC’s started by billionaire supporters of the actual candidate (If you can send $50,000, $10,000, or even $5,000, it will help throw that Socialist Marxist Communist Kenyan out of the White House and prevent the world from being destroyed by an asteroid on December 12, 2012);

4. Surveys paid for by PAC’s started by billionaire supporters of the actual candidate asking completely unbiased questions such as a) would you vote for Obama knowing that he is a Socialist Marxist Communist Kenyan, or b) would you vote for [insert Democrat’s name here] if you knew he dresses up as a Dallas Cowboys’ cheerleader for every game? Even if you’re a Packers’ fan?

But all of those things completely overlook the main point. Which is this: what lame-brain village idiot ever thought that robocalls might be a good idea? Seriously – as if a random, anonymous, computer-generated recorded call ever influenced anyone with an IQ over 80 or persuaded them to do anything other than yank the phone from the wall before using a hammer to pulverize it into 10,000 random, micronized, fine particles?

Even if I like a candidate – I don’t want him (or her) to call me.

Worse: I can’t turn them off. I’ve hung up, only to pick up the phone several minutes later and still hear millionaire Senator Ron Johnson (R-WI) explaining why global warming is a hoax and tax cuts for millionaires are good things.

And I can’t call anyone to complain because the phone number is “private” and the mandatory disclosure at the end of the message sounds like this: “paidforbycmpnfrzydxwgkl555hukpqds.”

So I have an idea. I’m starting my own. “This is Karl Rove calling to let you know that I invented this system. I’m asking for your support in the fight against big government attempts to make it stop. Call me at 202-706-7051 or make a donation in any amount to help keep my robocalls coming. Paidforbycmpnfrzydxwgkl555hukpqds.”

You want the truth?

Once upon a time long, long ago, most people told the truth most of the time.

Even politicians.

Lying was considered a bad thing. Reporters were called “journalists” whose purpose was to search for and report the facts in an unbiased, fair and impartial way. Edward R. Murrow persevered in the search for truth, even exposing Joe McCarthy’s fanatical fear-mongering. Walter Cronkite was the man America trusted.

People learned critical thinking skills which they used to process incoming communications, winnowing and sifting, questioning with a healthy dose of skepticism what they saw and heard. “I wasn’t born yesterday,” and “You can’t fool all of the people all of the time” were heard throughout the land.

Thankfully that’s all over with. Karl Rove was born, Rupert Murdoch transformed the Fox Network into a “We just make stuff up because we can if we’re in the U.S., even if that kept us out of Canada because (unlike the U.S.) it has a sensible law which forbids lying on broadcast news,” and the Supreme’s hit single “Citizens United” topped the charts.

Now anybody with money can say anything and the vast majority of people will not only accept it as true, but endlessly repeat it to others via any and all possible methods of communication.

Meanwhile, anonymous “non-partisan” entities with no identifying information (no location, no phone number, no names of any human beings who could possibly be connected with it or funding it) proliferate more quickly than cockroaches in the dark, spreading disinformation.

I know what you’re thinking – you’re thinking, “completely anonymous people or entities with a name like ‘Words Matter 2012’? Nobody would pay attention to them! I mean, why should they? For all we know the person behind it could be an escapee from an asylum with his head wrapped in aluminum foil who believes his instructions come from Planet Zyborg!”

You are right. And very, very wrong. Because the masses did not question the anonymity. They did not say, “for all we know this could be an escapee from an asylum with his head wrapped in aluminum foil who believes his instructions come from Planet Zyborg!”

No – they all nodded their heads in compete agreement and hit “forward” then immediately shared and reposted it a gazillion times on facebook, twitter, and youtube.

Including people like:

crazyup inhurr ‏@Crazyupinhurr Shut your mouth, Hippie. Political Correctness and Liberals are the Herpes on the crotch of this great Country.

Patty Foster ‏@PATTYFOSTER53 53 yr old grandma…Independent, Conservative, God fearing woman..who loves her family..and i Love my Country the greatest in the world…I LOVE FOX NEWS…

Linda Hobart ‏@Ga5mom Mom,wife, grammy,Texas transplant, Constitutional Conservative, IT networker, TEA Party member

Ms.Jeffry Douglas ‏@MsJeffDesigns Republican,Conservative.Pledge of allegiance,in God we trust.Tired of PC. Love family,love my children.

linda e ‏@MRSEMOND Pissed Off American, Proud Responsible Conservative, God Fearing, Gun loving Married Mother of two from Southern California.

Judson Phillips ‏@teapartynation Tea Party Nation – A Home for Conservatives

TEAMPACUSA ‏ @TEAMPACUSA TEAM PAC USA is dedicated to Obama’s defeat  Watch our Documentary detailing Obama’s Deception and Failure on Youtube

Hmmm … do we sense a theme here?

We start with “Words Matter 2012.” An anonymous something (no one knows if it’s animal, vegetable, mineral, or none of the above) which claims to be a “non-partisan” 501(c)(3) non-profit corporation, yet is exclusively dedicated to bashing President Obama 24/7/365 on:

its website  (registered anonymously);

facebook (no identifying info);

twitter (no identifying info);

and its own youtube channel (where, as of September 14, 2012, twenty-nine expensive, well-edited, professionally produced attack videos were being endlessly watched by thousands of Andrew Glenn Breitbart Beck wannabees who then re-posted them on internet websites across the galaxy faster than you could wrap your head in foil.

So an anonymous something located who knows where run and financed by who knows who can take your tax-deductible donation and spend it trying to defeat a candidate by making lots of stuff up in a frenzy of fanatical fear-mongering and claim it’s non-partisan.

Edward R. Murrow, where are you?