Help Wanted (Confidential)
Faith-based organization desires spiritual leader 24/7/365 with experience in channeling God’s word.
Location: Mediterranean peninsula
Compensation: Life-time appointment with unlimited supply of holy water. Performance bonus based on number of converts. Two palaces complete with palace guards; personal chef; in-house physician; all the lasagna you can eat. Relocation assistance available.
Tend a flock of 1.2 billion souls (tarnish-free staff provided).
Male, preferably Caucasian; Roman Catholic (or willing to become one). Fluency in Latin preferred. Ability to look good in hats and colorful robes a plus.
Infallibility in matters of doctrine essential; in weather forecasting helpful.
Apply via private email in strictest confidence to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Please visit our website to learn about other exciting career opportunities: http://www.vatican.va-va-voom.net.
Note: not an equal opportunity employer.