Meet Alice

Tea Pots complain they are unfairly stereotyped as dumb as doorpost illiterates who write (using CAPS, LOTS OF CAPS) about God and freedom and taking back the country from that socialist-marxist-homo-lib-commie-foreigner Obama and who worship Glenn Beck and Michelle Bachmann with a passionate constancy.

I don’t want to be unfair so decided to look at a random Tea Pot to see if those stereotypes are unfair. Or untrue. I chose Alice. She can thank Matt Kibbe.

I get emails from Matt Kibbe asking me for money. You know, Matt Kibbe. The nut job President and CEO over at FreedomWorks, the Tea Pot non-profit with the primary purpose of raising money to keep paying Matt Kibbe a really nice salary. (For some reason that purpose allows them to qualify as a tax-deductible charitable organization. Who knew?)

Which requires lots of emails asking for money. Like the one I just got. Which told me to “Meet Alice,” just an ordinary activitist true patriot seeking to take back the country from that socialist-marxist-homo-lib-commie-foreigner Obama.

Of course, when you click on the link to meet her, you get this: “PLEASE MAKE YOUR YEAR-END DONATION OF $25, $50, $100 OR MORE NOW!”

Hmmm. LOTS OF CAPS. Maybe it’s just a coincidence.

You also get a film clip which doesn’t tell us much about Alice, so I decided to learn more about the woman who is “an inspiring tribute to the unwavering commitment of this grassroots movement to make freedom a priority.” I googled her.

Turns out that this is Alice.

She is, of course, a Tea Pot. And a Republican. (Coincidentally, Tea Pots ALL seem to be Republicans seeking to elect Republicans.  For some reason that still allows Tea Pot groups like FreedomWorks to qualify as non-partisan tax-deductible charitable organizations. Who knew?)

But I digress.

She is a member of the “Space Coast Patriots.” Ironically, she does not find this ironic.

But I don’t want to unfairly stereotype her even though she wrote this:

Want to rid country of Socialism/Marxism and return to constitutional sanity. Got to get Conservatives elected, not RINOS. Want to see Obama GONE. BORDERS:CLOSED; LANGUAGE: ENGLISH ONLY; CONGRESS:OBEY ITS LAWS & ‘RULE’ W/IN CONSTI.& BILL OF RIGHTS!; MANDATORY DRUG SCREENING BEFORE WELFARE; NO FREEBIES AT ALL TO NON-CITIZENS! ELIMINATE WASTE THROUGHOUT GOVT.; REMEMBER HISTORY & DON’T MAKE SAME MISTAKES EUROPE HAS MADE. EXPOSE OBAMA & MANY IN GOVT. AS FRAUDS; HYPOCRITES; LIARS; & WORSE! RETURN TO SANCTITY OF LIFE; BELIEF AND DEPENDENCE ON GOD; MORALITY; COMMON SENSE; HOMOSEXUALITY IS NOT NORMAL & SHOULD NOT BE CONDONED. UPHOLD OUR ‘RIGHTS’ TO BARE ARMS & OTHER RIGHTS. STOP STUPID WARS; TEACH EVERYONE ABOUT THREAT OF SHARIAH & RADICAL MUSLIMS. DON’T SUPPORT HOLLYWOOD AND LEFTISTS THERE. STAND UP FOR BASIC DECENCY. TEACH LOGIC AND REASONING. BE THANKFUL EVERY DAY! JOIN A GOOD GROUP LIKE THE S.C.PATRIOTS; 9-12; CCPR; R.L.C.;& OTHERS.

(Because so help me we all have the right to bare arms. Unless you have those flappy things where your triceps used to be.)

Alice, by an amazing coincidence, also belongs to Brevard 912, Brevard Tea Party, and the Republican Liberty Caucus of Central East Florida.

Alice, by an amazing coincidence, lists these groups as “interests”: 9/12, We Surround Them, Tea Party, Liberty, The 912 Project, Tea Party Patriots, Take Back our Country.

Alice, by an amazing coincidence, also listens to Glenn Beck.  Who, by an amazing coincidence, founded the “we surround them 9/12 project” to which Alice belongs.

Alice, by an amazing coincidence, also is a close friend of Michele Bachmann, and lunches with her whenever their schedules permit.

Alice, by an amazing coincidence, also lacks basic spelling skills: we are losing our culture and our American values. It’s imparative we each do our part in stamping out Socialism; ‘social justice’; nanny state tactics; & electing conservatives.

Alice, by an amazing coincidence, also believes our President was born someplace, anyplace, outside of the U.S., as demonstrated by her heartfelt response to a blog post claiming that “Obama was never legal to begin with. Millions of ‘birthers’ who are intelligent, taxpaying Americans already believe that.”

Thank you soooooooo much for this wonderfully-written article! I have made copies of it to share with the oldsters I know who don’t have a computer. But I would like to send it in to the 9-12 group, if you have not already done that. I would also like to send it to many others who are not 9-12ers. You have articulated what many of us think in such a logical way.

But maybe she’s just an exception. Maybe they really aren’t all that dumb.

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Posted on December 23, 2012, in Commentary, conservatives, Humor, Republicans, Tea Party. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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