The Complete Republican Guide to Human Female Reproductive Organs

Protecting female reproductive organs is the top priority for the GOP, coming in ahead of jobs, the economy, and who should win “The Voice.”  Historically a subject requiring a medical degree (or personal possession of said organs) – but no longer. This handy pocket-sized reference guide is jam-packed full of everything any Republican ever needs to know to defend women against themselves.

Part 1: The Naughty Bits

This is that uncharted area south of the navel and north of the knees usually marked on medical charts as “Here be Monsters.”

Part 2: Getting Closer

This part does not look at all like guy parts which makes it really, really scary. The female stuff is inside, down a long dark passageway where anything could be hiding. I mean, watch any horror movie about spelunking. People go into caves and they don’t come out.

Part 3: The Va-Jay-Jay or “That Which Must Not Be Named”

No way we’re gonna say the “V” word in a public place. Or a private place. Nobody should say that word. Ever. Anywhere. Because it can make your eyeballs melt in your head. Instead we’ll use medically and anatomically correct and respectful terms: twat, snatch, cooch, box, poontang, and love tunnel.

Part 4: The Journey

Simply put: the love tunnel connects the hoo-haa to the poontang. Somewhere in the nether regions are two whoopdedoos full of unborn persons, waiting for Republicans to free them.

Part 5: Cleaning House

No matter what you call it, this is a dark and dangerous place full of enough yeast to choke a baker; it can only be made safe with a vaginal probe.

Women and doctors might not agree, but what do they know, anyway.

Advertisements

Posted on September 6, 2012, in Commentary, conservatives, feminism, government, health care, men, Politics, Republicans, women. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: