Baby Momma Redux
Nothing is more exciting than hearing about the latest entry into that high quality genre of entertainment known as “reality television.”
Will it be about cheating-married-closeted-gays-coming-out-to-the-in-laws in front of the entire town at their 50th wedding anniversary extravaganza complete with moments of shock, betrayal, and sobbing, bosom-heaving angst?
Or perhaps employees competing “Survivor” style to be the only one in their division to keep their job (bonus: winner gets to do the work of the entire division with no increase in pay while CEO gets stock options for effective cost-cutting).
Or will it be something even more astonishing, something involving ice skates, Simon Cowell, crocodiles, housewives, bounty hunters, and Snoop Dog?
Or – I dare I say it – will it be “My Teen Is Pregnant and So Am I,” a show promoting the benefits of barrier-free sex? You know – all the fun stuff like being a grandma at 36 – or a great-grandma before qualifying for AARP membership.
Seriously, I am not making this up.
It’s a real show with real moms and their real teenage daughters – all pregnant at the same time.
Can we say “dysfunctional parenting”?
Or, as one teen mom-to-be, Liz, whined when she learned that her mom, Ann, was pregnant too, “I kind of wanted the attention on me and my baby, so I was like, ‘are you freaking kidding me?’ ”
And the mom couldn’t agree more, believing that it’s more important to be a pal to her daughter than a “heavy-handed parent.”
“I think you know more about your kid if you’re best friends,” she said. As her also pregnant teen daughter said, “Most girls won’t even tell their parents they’re having sex, so it makes it easier for them to get pregnant.”
Earth to pregnant Mom and pregnant teen Daughter: not telling parents you are having sex is NOT the reason you get pregnant. But being your kid’s “buddy” instead of a parent might be a contributing cause. (“He said he loves you and you can trust him to pull it out in time? Cool!”)
Are these people for real?
But wait, it gets better.
When 18 year-old Liz is just too exhausted (she’s 18 – “too exhausted” for what?), and her 36 year-old mother Ann is busy with her own newborn, Ann’s 54 year-old mother (and Liz’s grandmother) Crystal comes over to baby-sit her great grandson.
What the hell is wrong with these people? Haven’t any of them figured out where babies come from – and how to keep that from happening???
Wait a minute. Now I get it. It’s genetic: stupid runs in the family.