Why Your Parents Will ALWAYS Worry About You

You’ve been visiting your mother. As you leave, she tries to give you food. She starts to pack a cooler. “I want to make sure you’re eating right. I worry about you. It’s cold outside. Here, take my coat.” You’re fifty-three years old and no, this will never stop.

Your parents worry about you. They will always worry about their children. Here’s one reason why: Lindsay Lohan. Here’s another: Charlie Sheen.

Here’s another – a recent news report: “US Students Survive 9 Days in New Zealand Bush.”

Two not uneducated young (and, it pains me to say, American) adults decided to take a stroll into the New Zealand wilderness in the middle of winter to visit some “hot springs, to chill out and study for finals.” Because, of course, everyone studies for finals in the New Zealand wilderness. In the middle of winter. You can’t go a mile without tripping over a desk and power outlet. And the country went Wi-Fi years ago after the sheep farmers complained about not being able to stream video of “Dancing with the Stars” during lambing season.

They carefully packed almost no supplies for their jaunt and ended up trapped by weather for more than a week, surviving by carefully rationing their limited supply of trail mix and – this is the really important part as anyone who owns a Jacuzzi knows – chilling out in a hot spring. They were, of course, a young couple. And the outing had nothing to do with curiosity about sex in a hot spring.

The mother of the male half of the couple panicked when she heard they were lost. “It’s too much for a mom.” Especially since no one knew they were lost for the first eight days. Because they hadn’t told their parents where they were going or when they would be back.

Here’s what his mom said to him after she finished panicking: “You went off into the wilderness in the middle of winter? Without tell us where you’d be? Or for how long? Didn’t we teach you better than that???? You haven’t got the sense God gave a goose!”

Even the parents of rich, successful people worry. They toss and turn and wonder where they went wrong. Newt Gingrich’s folks: “Moon colony? You told people you’d build a moon colony?” Rick Santorum’s: “Too late! We already googled it.” Rush Limbaugh’s: “Son, just so you know, we tell people it’s because of a childhood head injury.”

So we worry. Forever.

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Posted on June 11, 2012, in Commentary, Humor, Parenting. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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