It’s Really Rad

I discovered today that I don’t have what it takes to be a super model or an “It” girl and it has nothing to do with my weight, height, age, or the tendency to look like John Belushi in photographs.

It’s because I would never pay $895 for a set of sheets.

I didn’t even know it was possible to spend that much for sheets.

But that’s what an “it” girl must have because, according to “it” girl Alexa Chung, they make her “very happy.” Imagine how delirious she’d be if they cost $2,000.

She also just has to have a $255 pair of leather short-shorts. They’re her “go-to item.” Because of course the item we always reach for when we just don’t know what to wear is our lederhosen.

I could not make this stuff up. Check out the February 20, 2012 issue of Newsweek. Page 59. A few of the favorite things of someone who says stuff like “It’s really rad” and “makes me feel like a 100 percent hipster” and really means them.

Meanwhile, I’m still trying figure out why anybody who’s not Bavarian would ever voluntarily wear leather shorts.

Probably the same person who loves to “slather” $95 body oil “all over” to “stave off dry vibes.”

Seriously? Protecting against “dry vibes”? Wouldn’t garlic work just as well? And really: $95 for a 4 oz bottle of body oil? That’s $3040 a gallon. For body oil. Is this woman completely disconnected from reality?

Of all the other items listed (including $75 air freshener and $179 pajamas) the one most people can understand and identify with as essential to daily life are shoes. We all need shoes. And not just any shoes. We all need this can’t live without wardrobe item: “Kitty Flats” by Charlotte Olympia. Only $767 for a pair. Which works out to only $383.50 each.

Oh. Wait a minute. That’s why I’ll never be an “it” girl. I have a brain.

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Posted on February 25, 2012, in Commentary, Humor, Other, women. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. Makes me think of the Barbie joke ~ ‘I wanna be like Barbie when I grow up because the bitch has everything”!

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