Helpful Hint of the Day

It happens when you least expect it. Perhaps just as you’ve finally dozed off after wrestling for weeks with insomnia. Or just as you’re setting the final domino in place for your elaborate million domino “you tube” stunt. But then the phone rings. And you are startled out of a sound slumber or your hand jerks slightly destroying three months of careful work.

You grab the phone. Answer it. But no one listens to your angry “Hello.” Because it’s a recorded message from Rachel at “Card Member Services” or sometimes “Card Holder Services” with important information about your account.

She calls you day after day. Sometimes more than once a day. Even though you don’t have an account. And even though your phone number is on the federal “Do Not Call” list. And on the state “Do Not Call” list.  She calls everyone on the “Do Not Call” list.

And she calls even though she told you that if you pressed “3” she would stop calling.  You’ve pressed 3. Many times. She keeps calling. And even though you’ve pressed 7 to talk to someone about the special offer and asked that person to stop calling you. And even though you’ve pressed 7 to talk to someone about the special offer and asked to speak to the supervisor at which point the person laughed and told you to do something physically impossible before hanging up on you.

And even though you called the number shown on your caller I.D. and learned that it doesn’t really exist.

You’re at wit’s end wondering how to make it stop.

Well I’m here today to offer you some relief that will also make you feel better. All you need is a police whistle. That’s right, a whistle. An inexpensive yet invaluable tool in the fight against telephone tyranny. Buy one and keep it next to the phone. The next time Rachel calls, press the number to connect to a real person. Wait until they answer. Then blow a sustained, shrill, full-volume blast of the whistle directly into the telephone microphone before hanging up.

The odds are that they will stop calling. And that you will be disappointed when they do.

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Posted on November 30, 2011, in Commentary, Humor, Other. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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